areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
