i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
