Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
North Korea, Best Korea!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
