Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
