I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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