She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
