I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
