Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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