i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
