You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
