Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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