Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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