so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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