5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
