only if we run a train.
done.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
where are my eyebrows?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
