I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
