the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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