how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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