so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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