His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
