im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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