The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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