she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dignity is for republicans.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
