Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
