**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize