It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm both gender and math confused
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
