What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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