Buhtt sex?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
