This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize