You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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