God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
