you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
