the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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