I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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