Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize