I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
