If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Randomize
