I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
