You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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