you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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