I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
