im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
