talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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