Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
