If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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