Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
