Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
