You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I understand Curling. That high.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
