ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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