so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
