So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
