real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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