is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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