I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
