$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
