His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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