You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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