its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Let's get the cat blown out
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
