Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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