woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
