In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
