i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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