I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
