i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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