Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my phone needs a breathalizer
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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