your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
only you would photoshop your dick
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
