Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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